Can You Trust Your Spouse Again After An Affair?

Do you feel like your relationship is heading down the drain? Has your partner been less interested in you lately?
If you are experiencing one or more of these situations right now then it is important that
you make the right decisions in order to get your relationship back on track.

Table of Contents

The shocking discovery

After the affair was discovered it was hard to feel close to your spouse.
You felt like your relationship was falling apart and you wanted to cry all the time.
These feelings lasted for about 3 weeks straight before things got back to normal.
After that time span you were feeling distant, unsure of what they were thinking and
you didn’t want to ask them anymore about what they were doing.
These feelings were so intense that you were thinking they didn’t love you anymore.
When these feelings occur, it is important to take the high road and forgive them.
Doing this will help to strengthen your bond with each other.
It will also help to get your relationship on the road to recovery.

When you want to regain your relationship after the affair,
you must make the right decisions in order to make the correct moves.

You need to make the right decisions

1. You need to decide whether or not you can forgive them.

If you can’t forgive then you can’t move forward. You also need to decide whether or
not you are willing to forget the affair and start all over again.
If you are then you must forgive them and forget the whole thing.
If you are then you should be willing to forget them. If you aren’t then you need to make another choice.

2. You need to decide whether or not you are going to trust them.

When you are building trust it is important that you don’t make mistakes.
When you are building trust you need to plan out every step that you are about to do.
If you don’t plan out every step then you are leaving yourself vulnerable to making a mistake.
When you don’t trust your spouse then you need to always have questions in the back of your mind.
You need to be always thinking of things that might happen. You need to always have scenarios in your mind.
This gives you a way to escape if things go bad.
It gives you an escape route so that you don’t have to believe your spouse for real.
It also lets you know that you are making progress so that you can believe them again when it’s time to put your faith in them again.

3. You need to decide if you want to put in the extra effort to build the trust.

This takes time. You don’t want to rush it. You want to take your time to be sure that you are working on it the right way.
You don’t want to give your spouse an excuse to cheat again. You want to make sure that you do everything in
your power to protect yourself from him cheating again. You want to create a new foundation on which to build your marriage.
When you do this you build up your trust and you are laying the foundation that you can trust your spouse again.
When you do this you make your marriage better. This is one of the first steps to healing the trust in a marriage.

Building trust in a marriage takes time.

You don’t want to rush it. You want to take your time to be sure that you are doing it correctly.
You don’t want to give your spouse an excuse to cheat again.
You want to constantly plan out every step of the way so that you will know exactly what you are doing when it’s time to trust your spouse again.

It doesn’t make sense to believe that you can do this when your marriage is at the breaking point because you can.
You can do this when your marriage is going strong because you have more work to do.
You can do this while your marriage is doing better because you are already doing it.
It will take work and you will have your work cut out for you.

However, it’s worth the effort because this is the only way that you will really know whether
you are making progress or regressing in your marriage. You can do this because you’re already making progress.
You can do it because you have a solid plan to regain your confidence.
The point is that you’re already doing it and if you are seeing progress then you know that you’re on the right path.

You want to believe that you are making progress toward getting what you need to feel secure in your marriage again.
You know that you are on the right path when you need to trust again.

Please let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
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Wandji Nguemako

Wandji Nguemako is a writer, editor, entrepreneur and public speaker. Having been an entrepreneur, educator, and fashion designer, Wandji now focuses his work on personal development, wellness, and spiritual growth. He is the founder of Self Renewal Magazine, a digital publication that promotes self-love, kindness, and wellbeing, where he chronicles his journey of self-discovery and shares actionable strategies to help others live their best lives.
"You must nurture your own inner being to accept yourself as you are. If you don't accept yourself, you will never be at peace with yourself."