Let me tell you a story about how I did it. This is how I did it, and you can do it too. A friend of mine was coming off one of his worst days ever. He had not had a break since he had arrived home, and his girlfriend at the time had broken both of his front teeth on his fourth visit home. When he arrived, he noticed that his girlfriend was all worried. “Is she all right?” he asked. “Yeah,” she responded, “just having trouble walking. I thought she might need to see a dentist.”
He said, “You know it’s no problem. I just need to be yourself.”
And so he said, he went about his business and while he was doing something he was asked by his girlfriend if he needed help. “No, I’m fine,” he said. “Just getting back into walking. Have a good day!” And he was gone.
His girlfriend ran in to a friend of hers. “By the way,” she said, “I gave my boyfriend a few instructions to help him walk. Did he like that?” “He didn’t know what he needed,” he responded, and added, “I was fine.”
His girlfriend ran in to his boss. “By the way,” she said, “he just called me in here and asked me to give him some directions to help him walk. Did he like that?” “He didn’t know what he needed,” he responded, and added, “I was fine.”
His girlfriend ran in to his mother. “By the way,” she said, “he just called me in here to ask me to give him some directions to help him walk. Did he like that?” “He didn’t know what he needed,” he responded, and added, “I was fine.”
This is how I did it, and it works like a charm all the time. And it does not require you to “figure out” yourself. But when you do figure out, it works every time.
You see, I want you to figure out. I want you to think about what you need to figure out, and I want you to figure it out on your own. I want you to put your ideas out in the world so that you can see if they work. But I want you to be sensitive to other people who may be trying to help you and to be selective with the ideas that you “accept”.
The only way you can figure out for yourself is to become curious and to ask other people what their ideas were, so that you may follow their examples.
How do you figure out? You figure out by being aware of your feelings and using your emotions to figure out. Use the feeling that you are feeling in relation to the idea that you are figuring out and compare the two feelings.
Your feelings are a good guidepost for you to follow. If you are feeling negative, you follow that feeling, and probably not the idea you are figuring out. If you are feeling positive, you follow that feeling, and probably go further than you thought you could.
Imagine yourself walking up the stairs. You feel negative because you don’t feel like you have the strength to carry them any longer. You would follow that feeling and figure out what you needed to figure out to figure out that feeling. You would probably follow the feeling of feeling tired and say, “I am tired.” But you probably wouldn’t follow that feeling in relation to the idea of walking up the stairs because you don’t feel like you have the strength to do that either.
So, in this example, you probably figured out the feeling you didn’t like because it matches the idea that you don’t have the strength to walk up the stairs. In this case, you figure out that feeling, which is probably just a leftover from when you were a child, and you may choose to figure out other ideas as well. But you probably figured out that feeling first.
Here is another example:
Imagine yourself sitting at a table in a restaurant. You don’t feel like you can finish your meal, which is a leftover from when you were in college. In this case, you figure out that feeling, which is probably not something you are interested in or want to figure out. So you figure out that feeling, which is probably related to your childhood, and you may choose to figure out other ideas related to your childhood in the future.
Again, you will be able to figure out an idea much quicker if you figure out the feeling first. This is true whether you are thinking about an event that happened to you or something that has been going on in your past. If you can figure out the feeling, then you know what to figure out next. If you can’t figure out the feeling, then you may have to figure out other things in the future, or you may figure out new things but not the same ones.
In fact, what you may notice is that a certain topic can always be figured out within a certain timeframe if you figure out the feeling. For example, money can always be figured out within a timeframe if you figure out the feeling of needing to have more of it. The feeling is the same whether you figure out the idea of having enough money or not. In fact, it is the very same idea. You need to figure out the feeling of being happy with what you have. If you can figure out this feeling, then the idea of figuring out how to have more money will always be solved.
Once you figure out how to have money, then you can figure out other ideas. So I advise you to always figure out the feeling of being happy with what you have and within a timeframe. The best thing you can do is figure out your feelings first. This will save you a lot of time and a lot of headaches in the future.
"You must nurture your own inner being to accept yourself as you are. If you don't accept yourself, you will never be at peace with yourself."
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