The art of flirting is perhaps one of the more challenging aspects of dating for both men and women.
While you might expect it to be difficult on account of the sheer number of men and women, you might be surprised
to find how difficult it actually is for some people. When you have spent all your time and energy dating someone,
and then they disappear, it can be very hard to shake off that feeling that you have been out-maneuvered.
But the trick to flirting is to try and get that feeling to go away. Remember, the first point of dating is to find out
if you have any interest in each other at all. So if a man says that he is interested, then it is a good idea for you to match his interest.
For example, if a man says that he loves dogs, then you can make it clear that you love dogs too.
It’s just the old “match and multiply” trick.
How to flirt successfully
To flirt successfully, you need to start with very general statements. Don’t start off by saying that you would
love to see them, for example. That might well be so, but how specific would you be by saying that you would like to meet them?
That immediately puts the conversation in a parallel universe. Instead, try to be a bit more general. Say that you would like
to meet someone who likes dancing, for example. That is a very broad statement, but it gets your conversation on its feet.
It gives a glimpse into the world of possibility, and it also gets the conversation going in a positive direction.
The reason why you wanna start dating
The most important part of dating, of course, is to date with an open mind. It might seem that the more you learn about your date,
the more you are likely to fall in love. But falling in love is a very fickle thing. So don’t fall in love with the words on their profile,
or by the way they are dressed. Fall in love with the person, with their genuine personality, and most of all with their genuine heart.
So don’t fall in love with their mind, fall in love with the person themselves.
The only way to ensure that you are being flirtatious, is to be flirtatious with yourself. Remember that your ego is also
part of the body that you share with others. So you need to flirt with your ego, and don’t be too touchy feely towards your ego.
You may be tempted to give detailed profiles of the person you are talking to. But try to keep the details light.
What do I mean by this? Try to keep the details of your past relationships vague. Do not tell about your exes,
and do not say how much you love your exes. This will give the impression that you have a thing for your exes,
and a thing for your exes. None of this “want to get back together with my ex” or “need to get back together with my ex”.
The need to proceed with caution
Do not tell the details of how you had a date with your ex, or why you love your ex. Be vague, and use metaphors.
We are all familiar with this example of the lady who told of how she had been offered a plate of lobster, and chose not to eat,
and instead threw her phone in excitement, and went running back to her friend. This will leave the impression that
your exes are the main attraction, and you are not as important as you are, or you wish you were.
Don’t be too loving, but don’t be so loving that you are being mean. Again, give the impression that you love your exes,
but it will give the impression that you are somewhat shallow.
The art of being yourself
Try to be honest, just as you are.
You don’t need to tell of how you met your date, or of how long you have been dating,
or about how you are going to spend the night. Again, keep the details of your past experiences light, and light on the details.
Try to be yourself, and your true self.
If you have been dating for awhile, and are now looking for your soul mate, then of course the love for your previous
partner will show through. It is part of your past history, and the idea is to bring it back into the present.
But this should be the main topic of your conversation, not your love for your previous partner.
Try to be a person who enjoys dating.
Be casual, and fun. Do not carry on and on, talking about how wonderful you are, your life is complete,
you are the most wonderful person on earth. It is good to be sincere, but try to keep the details of your past experiences light,
and enjoy the conversation, and the other person.
Including this part of your past in your present will be fun for you, and enjoyable for the other person.
Make sure you are both aware of what is appropriate, and what is not.
Finally, have fun with it. It is part of your dating, and will be a part of your life for ever, as long as you have
the courage to go out there, meet your future partner, and look for him or her.
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"You must nurture your own inner being to accept yourself as you are. If you don't accept yourself, you will never be at peace with yourself."
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